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Growing My Soul

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When I first became interested in Judaism in a serious way, I was already an adult. Initially, my Jewish learning was driven by intellectual curiosity. I wanted to know information. I didn’t have any formal Jewish education as a child and my Jewish family didn’t really observe any holidays, so there was a tremendous amount to learn.
 
Later, as I began to participate more fully in Jewish life, I took on Jewish rituals. I began lighting Shabbat candles, eating in a sukkah on Sukkot, attending Passover seders where the entire Hagaddah was recited, going to the mikvah, reading the weekly Torah portion, keeping kosher, staying up all night on Shavuot to learn Torah, covering my hair, fasting on Tisha B’Av, honoring Tu B’Shevat with a seder and much more.
 
I continued to learn, and, eventually, to teach others. And for a long time, these behavioral observances were the essence of my Jewish experience.
 
And then, the soul within me started calling attention to itself, demanding that I pay it some mind. It dawned on me quite gradually that the world operates on multiple levels, and that I was really only plugged into one channel.
 
It became clear to me that there is a spiritual reality that exists in tandem with the physical reality in which most of us operate. In other words, there’s way more going on behind the scenes that most of us never notice.
 
I want to start noticing. I want to experience the world in its multi-dimensional reality, in full spiritual color. As least as much as I can access.
 
Toward that end, the teaching of our Sages shiv'im panim laTorah which means that the Torah has 70 faces or 70 facets or 70 different ways of being understood, resonates for me. Certainly, each verse of Torah can be understood in multiple ways. Beyond that, so can the whole world. Shiv'im panim laOlam.
 
I’ve begun studying Jewish books that I’ve never taken note of before. For example, the Tanya is a classic work of Jewish literature. It was written in the 18th century by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi. Known as the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Shneur Zalman was the founder of Chabad Hasidism.
 
I’m not likely to become a follower of Chabad in this lifetime, but this work of Hasidic philosophy appeals to the part of me that is committed to growing my soul. The Tanya is all about the complexities of the Jewish soul.
 
The Tanya itself is above my head, but I’m working my way through several commentaries on the book which were written to make the Tanya more accessible to contemporary students. One of the commentaries is called GPS for the Soul: A clear, easy to understand exploration of the Tanya’s essential concepts. It was originally written in Hebrew by Rabbi Nadav Cohen. I’m reading it in translation.
 
One passage in GPS for the Soul made a deep impression on me. Referring to tzaddkim, that rarefied group of people who have advanced spiritual achievements, it says:
 
“Tzaddikim do not see the world as ordinary people see it. Even if our faith in G-d is strong, when we look around, we first and foremost see a physical world and then we have faith that a spiritual world exists behind the physicality that we see.” (p. 34)
 
That’s essentially where I am in my best spiritual moments. I trust, I believe, I know there’s more to the world, even if I can’t access it most of the time. I also know there are people who can access it.
 
“When a Tzaddik looks at the world, he sees first the spiritual reality that infuses the entire physical world. The Tzaddik sees G-dliness everywhere and is keenly aware that the physical world is not the true reality.”
 
I haven’t been privileged to get to know any true tzaddikim in this lifetime, but I have met Jewish people who live their daily lives with the awareness that there is so much more to life than meets the eye. So even while they also go grocery shopping and pick up their kids from daycare, they remain connected to a deeper, truer reality.
 
When Moshiach appears and the messianic process is further along, we will all live with more spiritual awareness. For now, with G-d’s help, it’s my goal to remember that the physical world in which we operate is just a small part of the Truth of the soul’s existence.
 
 
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