BLOG

The Hardest Thing About The High Holiday Period

Share Share
We’re just days away from Rosh Hashana 5776, the Jewish New Year. For a week or more, I’ve been getting tons of mass emails and seeing generic Facebook posts with Shana Tova greetings for a good New Year. You probably have as well. That’s lovely and pretty harmless, albeit none too personal.
 
But very soon, these are going to be replaced by generic requests for forgiveness, leading up to Yom Kippur. The wording is usually something like, “If I’ve done anything to hurt or offend you this past year, please forgive me.” These requests are generally sent to a whole bunch of people by email or posted on Facebook.

For sure, it beats not acknowledging that we are in a period of judgement and that we want to face God on Yom Kippur with as clean a slate as possible. Our rabbinic tradition teaches,
“For sins between man and God Yom Kippur atones, but for sins between man and his fellow Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases his fellow. R. Elazar ben Azarya derived [this from the verse]: From all your sins before God you shall be cleansed (Vayikra 16:30) – for sins between man and God Yom Kippur atones, but for sins between man and his fellow Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases his fellow.”
So even if we don’t know this Mishna, we might have heard the general idea. Before we ask God for forgiveness, we have to ask forgiveness from those we hurt.

The problem is, we often don’t remember, or can’t face, the specific hurtful things we did or said during the year. So we paint over our smallness with a generic, one-size-fits-all request for forgiveness and post it on social media.

I’d like to encourage you to do something different this year.

Think of one hurtful thing you did. Something unkind you said. A gesture of good will you didn’t respond to.  A request from a friend you dodged. A burst of anger at a family member. An occasion where you cheated or took advantage of someone.

Go to that person. Look him or her in the eyes and say, “I’m sorry I did that.” Don’t make excuses. Don’t add a “but”. Just apologize. If you need to make restitution, do so. Whatever it takes. Clean it up.

This is the hardest part of the High Holiday period. Much harder than cooking for a crowd, fasting on Yom Kippur or standing for a 25-minute Shemonah Esrei on Rosh Hashana.

Once you do it though, you’ll be liberated. You will have freed your soul and you’ll be able to stand before God on Yom Kippur with the full expectation that Yom Kippur will, indeed, atone for you.

Share Share

 
 
 
 
 
Jewish Values Online

Home | Search For Answers | About | Origins | Blog Archive 

Copyright 2020 all rights reserved. Jewish Values Online
 
N O T I C E
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN ANSWERS PROVIDED HEREIN ARE THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL JVO PANEL MEMBERS, AND DO NOT
NECESSARILY REFLECT OR REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE ORTHODOX, CONSERVATIVE OR REFORM MOVEMENTS, RESPECTIVELY.