I appreciate the genuine honesty in this question. Many Jews struggle with this strict prohibition and the painstaking cleaning involved in adhering to it. Therefore, it is critical for us to clarify the spirit that forms the foundation of the practice – after all, the practice of cleaning out hametz is a manifestation of a deep and abiding spiritual commitment.
According to Jewish law, we must not only refrain from consuming hametz, but also remove it from our homes, as spelled out in the phrase from Exodus, “and no leaven shall be found in your houses” (12:19). It is also forbidden to own hametz or, as Maimonides and others say, to “derive benefit” from it. We can interpret this prohibition to include, for example, taking money in a hametz-related business venture or enjoying hametz in a social activity with non-Jews.
I would be dishonest if I claimed that upholding these stringencies is easy, especially in our modern society. Yet, I return to Maimonides to understand, as he writes, that not only are we nullifying hametz from our homes but also from our minds and hearts (M.T. Laws of Hametz and Matzah 2:2). He says that we need to mentally be able to declare that we have no hametz (at least none that we know of).
Why would Maimonides say that we need to mentally nullify our hametz? – because this practice is not merely about bread and grains. In fact, if it is so meticulously about bread and grains alone (as I have seen with some individuals), the purpose and spirituality of the practice is undermined and lost.
Hametz is not bread, but a symbol upon which we place great spiritual significance. It is the ritual object upon which we place the burden of our own egos, our own arrogance, our own evil inclinations that represent our internal “Egypt” and “slavery.” There are many wonderful reasons our sages offer as to why bread and grains are appropriate symbols for this (e.g., the “puffing up” for one). Moreover, it is usually those small things, crumbs in our lives that cause us the most problems.
This stringency is about our own process of eliminating the spiritual and psychological weight of our own self-enslavement. To truly be free and to be able to share in the communal vision of freedom and love, we have to each individually let go of those personal “chains” which alienate us and fragment us. Passover is about becoming a nation, one people with and enduring vision of Shalom and goodness. But in order to be able to sincerely and authentically participate in this vision, we each must see ourselves as if we were personally brought out of Egypt.