And Tzniut For All

One day, my son started streaking through the house in nothing but his Lighting McQueen underwear. While he’s still young enough to be cute, he’s old enough to know better, so I told him to stop. “It’s nottzanua (modest),” I scolded.

Thinking about it later, the words sounded strange to me. “Tzanua,” the adjective form of the noun “tzniut/tznius/modesty” is so associated with women and girls that it seemed strange to use it when talking to my son. “Tzniut” is frequently invoked when talking about women and women’s role in society: how we should (or shouldn’t) dress, how we should (or shouldn’t) act, whether we should (or shouldn’t) run for Knesset.

But tzniut was never intended to be a women-only tenet. Far from being a dictate on how women should live a God-fearing life (or a reason to exclude them from society, depending on your view), tzniut is actually a much broader concept that applies to anyone who identifies as a Jew.

Where does “tzniut” come from? An oft-quoted verse is “v’hatznea lechet im elokecha” (You should walk modestly with your God). To understand the verse fully, we need to revisit the source of the verse, Micah, one of the 12 Minor Prophets.

Micah is, in some sense, trying to Twitter-fy Judaism. We know there are 613 commandments … but what does God really want from us? How would God define “Judaism” in 140 characters or less?

Micah (6:8) decides: “… What is good? What does God want from you? To do justice, to love kindness and walk modestly with your Lord.” (This echoes God’s own words in Deuteronomy 10:12, “Now, Israel, what does God ask of you? To fear God, walk in His ways, love Him and worship God with all of your heart and all of your soul.”) (Oh, is that all?)

The Micah verse, especially the last part, is trudged out frequently in the ongoing debate regarding the role of women in Judaism. (Though we should note that despite all the attention “walk modestly” receives, Micah considers “justice” and “kindness” equally as important in fulfilling “what does God want from me.” A topic for another day.)

However, nowhere in this verse does he single out women as the ones who must heed the precept of modesty. According to Micah, everyone needs to “walk modestly with God.”

We need to bring “modesty” out of the very narrow box we have shoved it into; the one labeled “For Women Only.” We should use the same language of “tzniut” to talk about men as we do about women. Because tzniut encompasses more than just clothing choices; it encompasses more than just women. To be “tzanua” means we should think about how we act, we should be mindful of our presence and of the image we present to the world.

For example, when we go out in public, we should look neat and respectable. We should avoid flashy, ostentatious behavior. We should not act in a way that causes everyone to turn their heads in our direction (unless the reason they’re looking at you is because you’re trying to get a tantrumming toddler to do Something he/she Doesn’t Want To Do. Then you’re excused).

And, of course, we should not streak through the house in our Lightning McQueens. Because tzniut applies to everyone: men, women, young people, old people, and even skinny six-year-old boys.