How I am Bringing the Joy Back to Purim

You may be asking: How can you bring joy back to Purim? Isn’t Purim a day all about happiness and rejoicing? Don’t we belt out every year, “Mishenichnas Adar marbim besimchah?” (When Adar [the month of Purim] begins, our happiness increases.)

 

I have a Facebook friend who has a “Purim countdown” every year. “30 days till Purim!” … “17 days till Purim!” … “11 days till Purim!”

 

While he is a lovely person, his Purim countdown makes me want to throttle him. And then curl up in the fetal position till it’s all over.

 

Yes, when I was a kid, Purim was all about the joy. Costumes! Mishloach manot! A big festive meal!

 

But now, Purim makes me break out into a cold sweat. Costumes! Mishloach manot! A big festive meal! There’s a lot of pressure, and you don’t want to fall down on the job.

Many of my friends begin their holiday panic attacks after Purim, when Pesach preparations begin in earnest. Pesach, with its special-dishes-cleaning-frenzy-don’t-go-in-there-with-Cheerios madness, can make a person crazy. But for me, I figure at least there’s a reason behind the craziness. God did say, after all, “No chametz! More matzah!” (Or something along those lines). So we can justify our panic.

 

However, our Purim madness is somewhat self-imposed. Nowhere in God’s Torah does it say, “You must dresseth up in creative costumes; verily you will either spend much silver on these costumes or driveth yourself crazy making them. And thine Lord your God shall surely command you to send gift baskets to your friends. Themes are strongly encouraged. Also a cute poem.”

 

The day of Purim is already frantic enough, with four mitzvot that must be completed within the 24-hour period: The aforementioned gift baskets (mishloach manot), charity to the poor, hearing megillah twice and eating a festive meal. Then, we add on the pressure of costumes (that your children change their mind about 15 times a day, finally settling on something impossible and/or expensive) and creating original, elaborate mishloach manot packages. (Bonus points if your family is not only dressing up together, but your mishloach manot coordinates with your costume theme.)

 

If you’re not a naturally talented and artsy person (as I am not), this all adds up to a lot of pressure. Which eventually leads to scowling and resentment. What happened to the joy???

 

But this year I am making a conscious decision to take it easy. I am not going to have the perfect costumes and mishlaoch manot. And I am going to be okay with that.

I started with simplifying our costume idea. I drilled the “homemade costumes are so much better than purchased ones!” idea into my children long enough that they actually believe it, and then I figured out the easiest way to make them, using disposable tablecloths and permanent markers. (Disposable tablecloths are amazing! The things you can do with them!)

 

Next, I tackled mishloach manot. Each package is supposed to contain two types of food. Ours will have cookies (homemade; I’m terrible at “cute and original” but pretty good at cookies) and a chocolate bar. Because who doesn’t love chocolate?

 

Our seudah meal won’t be fancy, but the food will be good, there will be plenty (read: too much) of it and we will enjoy our company.

 

I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who are cooking up fantastic meals, utterly creative costumes and themed mishlaoch manot. I love their passion and enjoy watching them pour their considerable talents and energy into Purim. I know that “going all out” brings them great joy.

 

But I have accepted that it doesn’t bring me great joy. So instead of focusing on everything my Purim is not, I am going to focus on what it is: A day to hear the dramatic story of Megillat Esther (every year, when we reach the part where Haman visits Ahasuerus in the middle of the night, the point of the story where the Jewish people’s fortunes finally turn, I get chills); a day to drive around the city delivering mishloach manot and seeing crazy costumes on everyone, young and old; a day to see good friends and eat good food.

 

In other words, a very joyful day.