Mishloach Manot: For Friends and Not-So-Friends

Posted on 03/05/2014 by Gila Rose in Holidays

Recently, a few friends and I were chatting over coffee and the discussion inevitably turned to the big P word – Purim. What are your kids dressing up as? (My three started out as Toilet – don’t ask – Beyblade and whatever his older cousin was last year. Now we’ve settled on Whiteboard, Luke Skywalker (already purchased my disposable tablecloth) and whatever his older cousin was last year). What are you doing for seudah? What are you giving for mishloach manot? Then we started discussing who gets the mishloach manot.

Each year my kids play Santa and make lists of a few friends they want to give mishloach manot to. The lists is subject to change, depending on who was naughty and who was nice. I usually cap it around five friends per kid. Then we make up a bunch of packages to give to our friends as well.

Mishloach manot is one of the four mitzvot of Purim, along with hearing the megillah, having a festive seudah (meal) and giving matanot l’evyonim (charity). The source of mishloach manot is in the megillah: The end of Megillat Esther mentions how the 14^th day of Adar (Purim) became a day of celebration, with people sending packages to one another. So sending friendly packages full of good eats was part of the original Purim celebration. The goal of mishloach manot is to celebrate by fostering friendship and engendering good feelings.

In general, we give to our friends. But, usually, if you are friends with someone, then friendliness and good feelings have already been engendered. So it’s definitely nice and I won’t stop doing it, but perhaps limiting to the list to “friends” does not quite attain the goal of spreading cheer and good will. Perhaps it’s even better to give to people you aren’t so close with.

With that in mind, I started thinking of the People in my Neighborhood that I have perhaps overlooked the past few years. Who could I give to this year that would fulfill the mitzvah of mishloach manot and create all that cheerfulness and goodwill, in the best way possible?

My kids’ teachers. If anyone is deserving of a cookie and some wine, it is these lovely, hardworking people.
People in my building. We see each other in the parking lot and say hi on the stairs, but we’re not exactly BFFs. And cordial is a fine way to be with neighbors. But perhaps it would add a little building-wide joy if we delivered some of our homemade goodies to our neighbors as well.
Newbies. Moving is never fun. And my neighborhood sees a high influx of people who have chosen the life-changing move of making aliyah. Perhaps some of those newbies would appreciate a “Happy Purim! Have some cookies!” visit from some of us old-timeys. To remind them that there is life and happiness here even if school ends at the abysmally early hour of 1:30 and there isn’t free checking.
Anyone in need. An acquaintance who lives alone. An elderly neighbor. A friend going through a divorce. Surely there are people in your orbit—I know there are in mine—who may not be close friends but who would certainly appreciate a kind gesture and a treat.

So I’m expanding my mishloach manot list this year. And in the Purim spirit, enjoy this very funny video about mishloach manot re-gifting. The inevitable occurrence of someone showing up at your door to deliver mishloach manot, but you don’t have one for him, so you give him one someone else gave you … Hilarity ensues, trust me. (It’s in Hebrew, but it’s fairly easy to follow along even if you don’t understand the words.)